When I Say, "Good News Everyone!" You Have to Think of the Professor from Futurama Saying It

My knee is almost better. I almost don't look like some schlep moron with a twisted dance-walk thing going on. In related news, my neck is also better and I don't want to scream in agony when I turn to the right. Also, the lower right side of my back is now in cahoots with the lower left side of my back, and each side will have a spasm party at will.

The comfrey has settled all four parts of my wounded body rather well. Except for the random back spasm partying, that is. I can't explain to you how annoying it is to be in the midst of washing up the dishes (because I can't be ratted filling the dishwasher, I'm that lazy) when all of a sudden the lower left side of your back dives head first into a skewering painful spasm causing you to cringe into the left side of your body, hoping that it will alleviate the sudden onslaught of pain. Of course, in doing this, the lower right side of your back decides it is also going to jump on the spasm bandwagon, because god forbid it feels left out. So there you are, doing this funky cringe-hunched-over kind of motion, alternating between swaying from side to side and trying to do a full body wave in order to escape the pain somehow, in full view of the street because you have the garage door fully open, and the garage opens onto the kitchen which is where you currently are, attempting to wash the dishes in the sink because you're too damn lazy to load the dishwasher.

In non-related news, god bless the makers of those vibrating bouncer dealies that the kids seem to love. When we can't settle the wee lass, we chuck her in that thing, turn it on and she settles almost instantly. It must be the violent vibrations that cause her gums to chatter together, that she likes. I can't wait until she finds her voice and will sit there and hum to the vibration so it sounds funny.

Getting back to my dishwasher for a moment, D loaded it up tonight. A full load. On the tough-grime cycle. That has no bearing on what I'm about to say though, I just thought I'd tell you what cycle we usually have our dishwasher set on. Anyway, our dishwasher scares me. I say this because it happily begins its routine, gurgling and wooshing away, until it gets to the pause cycle. I'm not really sure why there is a pause cycle, but there is, and it pauses for a good 5-10 minutes. It's at this point that I realize the dishwasher is no longer loudly humming to itself, and I wander over to see if it's done. Of course, I should point out that it takes me about 5-10 minutes to realize that it's stopped making noise. So, off I toddle, over to the stainless steel contraption, and look at the dial. It's about that time that the dishwasher, as though sensing my presence, inwardly and very vocally belches and then does what I can only describe as a very loud but satisfying sigh, before the water rushes in and it continues through the rest of the dishwashing cycle. This always, always scares the everliving shit out of me. You would think that having lived here for six months, that I would be used to it, but I'm not. And each time that first belch happens, my body involuntarily convulses and my mouth involuntarily spasms into some funky shape that I cannot describe. The moral of this story? It's good to face your fears, and I fear the dishwasher.

Also, if you haven't seen Waiting... then you really should. I laughed my ass off during it, but it contains an assload of swearing so if that's not your bag baby, then I suggest not watching it. Also? I think I'm mildly in love with Ryan Reynolds...who was once engaged to Alanis Morisette?! I guess "You Oughta Know" wasn't written about him.