Thursday, March 30, 2006

Ryan Reynolds Has a Blog?!

Apparently Ryan Reynolds has his own blog. I think it's utter codswallop myself. This reminds me of the "Pitt Stop" which was a fake blog from years ago, supposedly from Brad Pitt. Christ it was funny, but of course Brad's army of lawyers decided that they were going to stop the guy from writing "Pitt Stop" because they felt the Bradster was being "slandered" or some such nonsense. So the site was pulled down, and I have never fully recovered.

In other, slightly more serious news, I know I'm not the only one who's desperately praying to Aliens to come save Kaite Holmes from the evil clutches of Tommy "the Tyrant" Cruise. (I just made that up, sounds clever doesn't it?) The latest and greatest is apparently he's just bought her an iPod and put calming music on it, so she has that to listen to as she's silently giving birth. (The Sun Online News Article)

Aside from the initial, "YOU HAVE TO BE JOKING!" cry, I honestly wonder what he's going to do if her voice does raise beyond a whisper, particularly at the crowning. (I'm assuming since she's not allowed to be loud, thus "traumatizing" the baby, she's also not allowed to have an epidural) They don't call it the Ring of Fire for nothing! It hurts like a ... like a ... it hurts alot. And how sweet of Tommy "the Tyrant" to already preload the stylish iPod with music of his choice, for his prisoner, for the birth of their his baby.

So I have a question... Is the baby allowed to cry and make noise? And how is that going to affect poor Katie's nerves? Oh right, right...they'll hire a nanny. Or...cheaper still, they can stock up on Whiskey, just like in the good ol' days - yeeeha!

Even though I probably sound it, I'm not jealous in the slightest that these celebs can hire people to raise their children. I will, however, admit to being INSANELY jealous because these same celebs have maids and servants and people to pick up after them; and I am supremely lazy.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I remember that Brad Pitt blog! I haven't thought about it in years, of course, but man, was that comic genius!!! Thanks for the happy memory. :)

E in Oz said...

Aaaand she's not allowed to hold the baby for the first 24 hours, or some garbage like that.

Methinks someone should stick a watermelon up freaky boy's butt and see how quiet he is while that's going on.

Anonymous said...

Having a maid would be heaven!

Anonymous said...

The thought of bringing a baby into the world without the use of drugs, noise etc is a lovely one. Obviously invented by a MAN!!! Why do women allow men who haven't ever had to go through the "joy" of a Period, Pap Smear, Mammogram, Child Birth etc dictate when/how etc we do things with our own bodies?? We've been the stronger sex all along and some how allowed that balance to be shifted back to THEM!!

(Ok off my soapbox now!)

Anonymous said...

The thought of bringing a baby into the world without the use of drugs, noise etc is a lovely one. Obviously invented by a MAN!!! Why do women allow men who haven't ever had to go through the "joy" of a Period, Pap Smear, Mammogram, Child Birth etc dictate when/how etc we do things with our own bodies?? We've been the stronger sex all along and some how allowed that balance to be shifted back to THEM!!

(Ok off my soapbox now!)

Anonymous said...

Girls...all I can say is that WE will never get to hear whether the baby makes a noise, whether she will make a noise or whether she will have to wait to hold the baby until the 24hrs is up. None of that will be ever publicised....and I think the only way this birth will be silent, is if she is under general anesthec. How do you stop babies from making a noise??????? Somehow, if not at the actual birth, then sometime down the track this woman is going to make a noise and the Saint aint gonna like it one bit!!!

ezri.blue said...

Well if she's smart she'll make some noise about it... And I agree the only way she'll be able to be silent during the birth is if she's knocked out entirely. Or maybe she'll pull a Britney and have a cesarian? Donno if Scientology allows that though.

Isabel said...

I heard the "silent birth" thing and I think that's true. Fyi (and also...VERY creepy!)