This Is How To Make Me Love You

...Or Violently Kill You.

I was having such a good day, too. I'll begin at the beginning, cause that's a good place to start.

I went to the bank on Friday to do a wire transfer to my account in Connecticut, so I could pay off my American creditcard. The fee to send the wire was $30, from my bank here in Australia - yes, it's exorbitant. There are additional fees on top of that, for the Australian to American dollar exchange. Again, exorbitant, but what the hell, I'm going to pay for it cause I'm already two months behind on paying my creditcard. I asked for enough to be transferred that I would have plenty of money in my US account to cover the CC payment. Makes sense, right?

So everything's fine and dandy; I check my account on Saturday and it went through. Only... money is missing. $16 is missing, to be precise. My US bank, in all of it's FUCKED UP GLORY, decided they were going to charge me $10 for an incoming wire transfer. Did I know about this? No. Was I informed about this? No. Is it on their website? No. Was I given any information on this charge, when I opened my account and got all the fifty thousand pamphlets they give you? NO. No I was NOT.

Then. If THAT wasn't bad enough.. they have been charging me $6/month for a BILL PAYING SERVICE THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN USING!! This charge has been going on for MONTHS apparently, and I knew nothing about it. Even if you don't USE the service, they're going to charge you for it. Which bank, you ask? Essex Savings Bank. It's a small pissy little bank that isn't nationwide but if you know Connecticut at all, then you know the bank of which I speak. Feel free to call them up and harrass them for their stupid charges.

Anyway, so I email them. The email goes like this:

On 10/5 I have a fee of $5.95 for a bill payment charge? What is this for? I have not had you schedule any bill payments for MONTHS. And what is this $10 incoming wire charge for? The wire transfer already cost me an additional $30 plus the cost of exchange from Australian dollars into US dollars, so please explain to me why I have additional charges on my account.

Thank you,
e

Note that I only put in the date of the LAST bill payment charge I noticed. Because I emailed them on Saturday, I knew I wouldn't get a reply until today. And this was the reply I got back:


e,

When you set up bill pay, you recieve the first six months free. After the six months you are charged $5.95 a month wether you send anything that month or not. If you would like to cancel Bill pay you can come into the branch and sign a form to delete it. Essex Savings Bank charges $10.00 for all incoming wires. You may have had charges from the other bank, but there is a charge here as well. If you have any questions please contact me at (XXX)XXX-XXXX ext. 234.

Thank you
(name removed)

At this, my mind went a little bit blank and my eyes popped out of my head. Yes, yes of course! Yes just LET ME WALK INTO THE BRANCH AND CANCEL THAT SERVICE! Honestly, it's as if the dumb bitch didn't even READ my email, or even take a look at my account. The reply I sent back to her a few minutes ago:


(name removed),

This is ridiculous. If I am not using a bill paying service, then I should not be charged for it. If you can see there is an incoming wire transfer on my account, then you will ALSO see that it came from Australia, so it would be therefore IMPOSSIBLE for me to come into the branch to cancel it. I am not in the US at the present time - I am in Australia - and you should also see that on my account, since that's where you people are sending my statements.

Additionally, I have no documentation stating that you charge an extra $10 for an incoming wire transfer; and it is also not listed on your website.

I am very disappointed in this reply. I have had problems in the past with Essex Savings, including having had to call the bank in order to get things straightened out, only to find out nothing had been changed. I have wasted alot of money on faxes to your bank that were apparently "never received" in order to get these problems resolved, and emailing (Sr. Rep) back and forth, and now to find out that you are charging me fees that I was not informed about when I opened my account, is highly unacceptable to me.

I will be cancelling this account as soon as possible.

It will be interesting to see the reply I get. I am just so aggravated, annoyed, pissed off and mostly in disbelief that they state quite calmly I'm going to get charged for a service whether or not I use it; AND should I wish to cancel it, oh DO feel free to come into the branch!

Don't bank reps even LOOK at accounts anymore? It's not like it's a difficult thing to do. I email the bank directly from their website, so when they receive the email, I'm SURE it has more than just my name and email address on it. Evidently it's just the mentality of email the person back asap but don't bother checking their account at all unless they make a fuss about it.

My absolute favourite bumper sticker I have ever seen: Stupid People Shouldn't Breed